A Eulogy for Dad
Up until 9-11 it seemed that we didn’t have any heroes left. When I was young there was Chuck Yeager, Audie Murphy, Hopalong Cassidy, John Wayne and my dad.
Other kids could talk about their fathers being bankers or lawyers or whatever but my dad was a swashbuckling sailor out on the high seas, fighting against the evils of the world and visiting far off places that I read about in geography books. The other kids didn’t get postcards from Naples or Athens or have a picture of their dad with the Pope.
He would be gone for six months and all I could think of was how neat it would be when he came home and went to a Boy Scout meeting with me in his uniform, dazzling with medals for unknown victories. The greatest compliment that you can give to a soldier is to call him a “Warrior”. Dad was a Warrior!
He was the greatest hero of all.
He was a gentleman (his definition of a gentleman was someone who could tie their own bow tie). He had a way with the ladies, especially the older ladies who all thought he was so good looking. He could flirt with the best of them.
He swept the prettiest and most popular girl in town, my Mom, off her feet when they were teenagers and through a love that continued for over sixty years they produced thirteen children and countless grandchildren. Not bad for two Only Children themselves. Mom’s love of dad has been exemplified by being at his side for the past many, many months as he slipped into the depths of a horrible disease.
He was the greatest hero of all.
He always joked about not having an identity of his own in town since he was always spoken of as either Marcelle Bacon’s husband or Flora Bacon’s son-in-law.
Dad was always a devout Christian who attended Mass with us every Sunday. I attribute the prayers of my mother and grandmother that he became a Catholic in recent years and embraced that religion.
I remember once when we were driving somewhere and he stopped to help a man with car problems. Dad fixed the problem and when the man offered to pay him, he just asked him to do a good deed for someone else.
He was the greatest hero of all.
He taught us to read, not literally, but to love reading. It didn’t matter if it was the latest Tom Clancey novel or a western paperback. We learned to absorb information while building our imaginations.
His love of the ocean and the lake inspired us to swim almost before we could walk.
Dad could fix anything from a leaking pipe in the cellar, a broken toy or inventing a system to refuel ships at sea that is still in use by the US Navy today.
At the age of 55 he became interested in horseback riding and before long he was a regular cowboy; riding in horse shows, delivering a foal and using a rake and shovel in the barn.
Several years ago he discovered that he had another disease that can only be cured for one day at a time. Again he excelled. He became active in AA to the point where he was traveling all over the state and helping others.
He was the greatest hero of all.
Of all his attributes, I believe that Pride was his greatest. He was proud of his service to his country and proud of his kids. He taught us that our name was our most prized possession. All of us strived to be our best since anything we did was a reflection on the name of Windward.
A whole generation separates the oldest from the youngest of the Windward kids. We each have favorite fond memories which we will carry for the rest of our lives. To try to write them all down here would be impossible for me. I can only mention the smell of London Dock pipe tobacco, Old Spice After Shave, the visits to his ships and in the later years the visits to the kitchen table where there was always an open book and a glad to see you smile.
Dad listened to the news commentator, Paul Harvey everyday. His philosophies remind me of Dad. I can hear this in the advice that Mr. Harvey once gave to his grandchildren. I quote:
For my grandchildren.
I'd really like for you to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meatloaf sandwiches. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope that nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It would be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye for fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with a younger brother or sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother wants to tag along, I again hope you'll let him.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you off two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as un-cool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and to read books.
When you learn to use a computer, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by you friends when you have your first crush on a girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what Ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you drugs, I hope you realize that he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma or Grandpa and go fishing with you uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
Written with a pen, sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
I have no doubt that Dad is already in Heaven waiting for us. He received the Last Rites and he spent his time in Hell. Now his ship sails in calm waters. We are all better people for having known him. Anchors Aweigh, Dad.
He IS the greatest hero of all.
